until you return to me
by DawnRaindrop
Summary: Summary: He will not rest until he finds her again. Reincarnation AU. TW: Character Death


**I.**

The first time he sees her, she is a blonde. And she does not remember him.

He would not have noticed her. A shinigami sees many humans come and go in their lifetime, after all. And in a place as crowded as Shibuya Square, he does not see any _one_ but an ever shifting mob unaware of his presence.

But she sees him.

He likens it to a timelapse video of the rapids. She stands in the middle of the waves, parting it. But she stands stock still, and she was looking straight at him.

He frowns, because it was never often he sees a human who sees him. Then the nagging sensation at the back of his mind rings louder the stronger he feels her reiatsu.

He feels Zangetsu shake and every fiber of his body scream the name. _Her_ name.

But he stills, and smooths his face into a look of indifference. She returns his frown and goes on her way.

She never looked back.

He wonders why it started to rain again.

 **II.**

When he sees her again, she remembers him.

She offers a greeting to him. But her eyes were fixated on her emaciated body that still held a soft smile. Her gaze softens when she looks upon her grieving friends. He wonders if she ever married in this lifetime.

 _Are you one of_ them _?_ She asks, blonde tresses that have faded into a light silver fall over her shoulder as she turns to him.

He nods.

 _I've seen you before_. She notes.

He shrugs. _Maybe._

 _Death… No._ She pauses and smiles. _You're my guardian angel._

He freezes. _What?_

 _I've seen you around. Your hair colour is unmistakeable._

He stumbles through his words. But he manages a firm _no_.

She smirks, shattering her kindly elder countenance. He feels his heart stop for a moment. The nostalgia was undeniable.

He tears his eyes away, and lifts his zanpaktou. He clears his throat and explains to her the konsou procedure. She nods calmly without any queries, as if she heard of it a thousand times.

As he lifts the hilt of his sword from her wrinkled and lined forehead, he manages a soft smile. _See you, old lady._

 _Thank you._

He watches her fade into particles of light, and vows to scour through the whole of Soul Society for her.

 **III.**

He finally finds her in Inuzui, and he wonders if she has an unfortunate affinity with this lawless district.

He does not know her well in this life, but he felt as if she had never left. Never left her old life. Never left her friends.

Never left him.

She steals a handful of steamed buns right under the shop owner's nose, and heads straight in his direction.

Carrying the stolen goods in her gathered front of her tattered kimono, she momentarily tilts her head back and apologises to the yelling old man.

She runs right into him.

Her bright purple eyes widen as he catches her by her arm. He opens his mouth to speak, but she clenches her teeth and knees him. He stumbles in shock, and she takes the chance to shake his hand off. He hears an _I'm sorry_ before she takes off.

But he catches up.

He squeezes his eyes shut and sighs as he takes the steamed buns from her. _Come on, Rukia, I just want to talk._

His grip loosens but she does not move.

She frowns. _My name isn't Rukia._

He turns rigid. He forces a laugh. _You look like a_ Rukia _. Sorry._

Her features soften. _My name is Yamamoto Aki. Remember it, Mr. Shinigami._

He feels the corners of his lips tug upwards. _It's Kurosaki Ichigo._

 **IV.**

He visits her every week.

She has befriended several children who are constantly by her side. Yet, she manages to steal away to meet him on a hill they found at the outskirts of Inuzui.

When they meet, he trains her on kido manipulation - and she is a natural, as she always was - until they are both exhausted and enjoy the sunset.

 _Why me?_ She asks one time.

 _What do you mean?_

 _Ichigo, there are so many souls out there. So many you have saved. So why me?_

He knits his brows together. _You… remind me of someone._

 _Is their name_ Rukia _?_

He does not meet her eyes.

 **V.**

He sees her again at her graduation ceremony.

When she enters Sereitei as a full fledged Shinigami, she is posted to the 13th Division. As she stands in line with her peers on stage, her purple eyes meets his orange ones and she breaks into a prideful smirk.

He returns it twofold.

Once it ends, he leaves to meet her backstage.

A redhaired man blocks his path, a hand on his shoulder.

 _Ichigo. You have to stop._

He scowls. _Why do I have to?_

Renji gives him a sympathetic look. _She is not Rukia._

He growls. _She is! You of all people should recognise her reiatsu!_

 _Of course I do!_ The grip on his shoulder tightens, and Renji thrusts him to the nearest wall. Ichigo retaliates and pushes him back. Renji repeats himself, shaking Ichigo hard. _But you are projecting Rukia onto this girl. But she is_ not _Rukia._

 _How can I?_ Ichigo shoves him away. _How can I live with myself knowing I could have saved her? How can I watch her die_ again _?_

He feels himself slump against the wall. Memories of his former life as a human wash over him. Renji gives him a final pat on the shoulder and leaves with one final advice:

 _Let her live her life, Ichigo._

 **VI.**

She is like air. Ever present in his life now, but invisible. He has to remind himself. She is not there.

 _Ichigo!_ She yells down the hallway.

He turns and leaves. But now she would not let him get away.

She throws a punch at him, and he lets it land on his left cheek. _Why are you ignoring me?_

He chides her instead for addressing him informally, and he feels like she punched him in the chest instead. Her face turns into a look of hurt and confusion, but she remains determined. _Have you forgotten about us?_

 _No._ He firmly insists. _I haven't forgotten anything._

She looks away and bows formally. _I'm sorry, sir._

She spits the last word like a curse, and his chest aches a little more. He hears her mumble some more, and he replies forlornly as she storms away.

 _I'm not lying, Aki._

 **VII.**

The next time he sees her, she is sleeping.

She looked so peaceful, and he wonders if that was what their final moments had been like in their previous lives. Peaceful. He remembers his last moments vaguely, and he remembered the regrets. But as his heart stopped, he remembers that he was peaceful. He hopes with all his heart that she was peaceful too.

He hopes she did not curse him as she died as Rukia. He hopes she did not curse him as she lived her next life as Aki.

But he knows she cursed him now.

Or else why would it hurt so _much_?

His tears fall on her cold cheek. He kneels before her lifeless, bloodied body, and he mumbles that he is sorry.

He is sorry for not taking that mission with her.

He is sorry for not being there.

He is so, _so_ sorry.

 **VIII.**

When he finds her again, she is more radiant than he had ever seen her in the two lives he knew her. She is a brunette, and she does not love him.

She is in a beautiful white gown as she stands behind a pair of large doors. He stands next to her and she turns in his direction. She does not see him.

She is breathtakingly beautiful.

The doors open and she turns back to face the front. The music breaks the tranquil silence of the church. Her arm wraps around her father's, and they exchange smiles before they walk down the aisle.

He follows behind.

He watches her exchange vows with the one she loves now, and he silently promises her he would do whatever it takes to make sure she never loses that smile.

 **IX.**

He meets her once more in Inuzui, and she is quieter. Much quieter.

The extent of her reiatsu is smaller in this lifetime. He wonders about the constants and variables in every incarnation. She does not hunger as much as she used to as a result.

He offers her a steamed bun anyway, and she takes it with a smile.

He smirks and asks why would she accept so readily.

 _I trust you._ She says simply.

 _Me?_ He probes, surprised. _Just because I'm wearing the black robes of Shinigami folk?_

She shakes her head and explains as if he was slow-witted. _You always looked out for me when I was alive, didn't you? I have a pretty good sixth sense. Your presence feels familiar to me._

He snorts. _You got it wrong, kid._

 _Who are you calling_ kid _, you jerk?_ My _name is Haruka!_ She stands up, and flushes red when she realises she is several heads shorter than him. _Anyway, I just_ know _okay. I trust my gut._

He exhales deeply, and ruffles her hair. She deepens her scowl. He is reminded of Aki.

 _I'll see you around, kid_.

 **X.**

He finally sees her again, and she is rushing to his side.

She screams his name.

 _Run…_ He struggles to form words. His jaw is probably broken. And he feels pure horror and fear fill his being as the monster turns to them. She shakes her head furiously.

 _I won't leave you!_

His mind willed his body to move once more to protect her. But she presses him down firmly.

 _You idiot._ Her tears fall on his face. Her face is highlighted with the soft green glow of kido. _I don't need your protection! You_ idiot!

She senses the looming presence and moves to shield him with her body.

As his vision blurs, he holds her body close to him. The skies split apart and the cold rain mixes with the warm red liquid oozing from the wounds they sustained. He remembers now his final moments were peaceful.

He hoped hers was too.

 **I.**

The first time he sees her, she is raven-haired. But he does not remember her.

Neither does she. But their parents are telling them to play nice, because they are next door neighbours and this is their first day of school.

His vision blurs because he is crying. He does not want to leave his parents. His mother pats him on the head and urges him to go ahead. She will come back for him later. It is a promise.

He nods obediently, wiping his tears away. He spies a red-haired man and a black-haired man dressed in black robes standing behind their parents, but he does not say anything. He has seen them for years now. He looks at her, and it seems like she sees them too. But unlike him, who learnt to treat them with indifference, she seems unnerved.

He takes her hand. _You see them? Those in black?_ He beams. _I see them too._

She nods, never taking her eyes of them. But she lets him lead her away from the front door.

 _What's your name?_ _I'm Mamoru._

… _Mitsuki. Nice to meet you._

 **End.**


End file.
